Aunt Edna always told me “Keep makin’ that face it’ll get stuck like that”
Meanwhile I’m just standin’ there
Holdin’ my tongue tryna talk like this
‘Til I stuck my tongue on that frozen stop sign pole at 8 years old
I learned my lesson then cause I wasn’t tryna impress my friends no more
But I already told you my whole life story
Not just based on my description
’cause where you see it from where you’re sitting
It’s probably 110% different
I guess we would have to walk a mile
In each other’s shoes, at least
What size you wear? I wear tens
Let’s see if you can fit your feet   – Beautiful, Eminem

My very first inclination is to judge. I look at other people, their situation, their actions, their reactions. I can think I know their motives; I can look down on them. I can decide how I would act differently.

I’ve learned from a very wise man that instead, I should be asking, “Why?’ Why is that person behaving that way? What is behind their actions, their situation, their way of dealing with life and me? “Why” helps me look at the root of things, not just as the surface. But even then, it’s easy to place myself in a position of superiority.

Going deeper still, I can try to put myself in their shoes; their life, environment, their upbringing, their personality. I can consider what it might be like to be raised the way they were, to be given the advantages and disadvantages they were given, to be thrust into the life that they were “placed” into. This is what Jesus did. He became one of us, to feel our flesh, to know our pain, our emotions, our greatest challenges and temptations. He became one of us to know intimately all of our weakness and frailty.

How often have I incarnated? How often have I placed myself in someone’s shoes so much that I am aware of the reality of their wounds and their challenges? It’s not just putting myself in their situation at the moment- incarnation is putting myself in their place. Given the same environment, family, upbringing, challenges, personality, and advantages- I most likely would be just like them. It is too easy from my vantage point, my “I,” to believe that I would be different. Incarnating brings me to a new place of understanding and compassion, where I see that I am no different than the person I’m struggling with, the person I’m judging.

We are equals, and I must begin to make the choice to “take on” their life in order to seek to understand. Compassion and love can only come with understanding.

“5In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: 6Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!”   – Philippians 2:5-8