restless

Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
‘Cause I need you to look into mine
Tell me that you’ll open your eyes [x8]
All this feels strange and untrue
And I won’t waste a minute without you
          –Open Your Eyes, Snow Patrol

 

On a flight to London, I got restless leg syndrome. It was only the second time in my life that I’d had it. The real problem was, it wasn’t just a regular flight. It was an overnight flight where I was supposed to be sleeping. I could not stretch my legs. I could not get relief, no matter what position I was in. And I couldn’t sleep. At all. I felt like things were crawling in my legs, and I had to constantly move them. It was miserable, frustrating, and unsettling. But it was temporary. There was eventually an end, although I felt like I would go crazy before I reached that end.

It’s the way my heart is sometimes, too. Restless heart syndrome. I begin to worry or become anxious about something. Something very real, and maybe very significant. But I become miserable, frustrated and unsettled because I can’t see the end, and don’t know the outcome. All I seem to know is the restlessness in the moment, the waiting. And the agony of no relief wins my attention. I sometimes feel I’ll go crazy.

Cease striving and know that I am God.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I don’t know if there is a cure for restless leg syndrome. But I do know that the above verses are true, and they can help heal my heart. When my heart is restless, I can remember and trust in these truths. I can be more like a child, let my heart trust more in parent God, that He is taking care of his little child and wants the very very best for me. He will make it all good for me.

When I have restless heart syndrome, I  can remember the character and care of my loving Father. I need to be a child again.

 

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